Making Family Vacation Work for Your Teen

Summer is just around the corner and that means family vacation time. Or does it? 

Many of us probably remember our own family vacations as children with great fondness. I certainly do. From elementary school through freshman year of high school my family had a string of fun and memorable vacations in places like Lake Tahoe and San Diego. Then they stopped. 

I remember asking my mom years ago why we had stopped taking vacations. Her answer was simple: once my sister and I were both in high school, there was no more time. And I knew she was right. My sister and I often took summer classes so we could advance during the regular school year, had cheerleading camp, cheer practice, student government retreats, and more. Even though we weren’t in school from 8 a.m. – 3 p.m. daily, school activities still held sway over our lives, even in the summer. 

In the decades since I was a teen, summer has become even busier for high schoolers. As everything has become more competitive, the summer activities have increased too.

• If your child is involved in high school athletics you can plan on them having practices throughout summer. If they play multiple sports, plan on it being most of the summer. 
• If they are taking summer school, they will likely have to be on campus for anywhere from 3-8 weeks for their classes depending on how many units they are trying to complete. 
• On top of athletics and summer school, many of our teens (and their parents) feel a lot of pressure to use summer to pad their resumes for college admissions. That might mean internships or special programs at universities. 

What this adds up to are summers that are not as carefree as they used to be. 

Our lives and our teens’ lives are so busy; it can be easy to decide there just isn’t enough time to take the family vacation anymore. However, a vacation – even if it’s just a weekend getaway – is an important opportunity to stay connected to a teen during a crucial phase in their development. (Check out The Importance of Family Time on Kid’s Mental Health and Adjustment to Life.) So how do you make sure that can happen as your child moves into high school? 

Most importantly, check the school calendar before you plan a vacation. Even heading into freshman year! Most high school activities, especially athletics, will have incoming freshmen on the same summer schedule as their returning students, and your teen will not want to miss out. (FOMO is real!) 

Schools plan most things well in advance. So consult the student life director, theater department chair, debate coach or whichever adult oversees the calendar for the activities your child is involved in and work around important summer events when possible. If your child is involved in athletics, ask the athletic director when the dead period is. (In southern California all high schools in the CIF southern section must take a 14 day period where no athletic activities take place.) 

Working around a school schedule may be difficult, but it’s possible. And it’s much better than going on vacation with a grumpy teenager who is upset that they are missing a week of activities that are important to them. Planning a vacation around these activities means your teen can be focused on family instead of wondering what they are missing. And you can get one more summer of fun family memories.